According to the Tame Apple Press, Apple is going to “redefine the pizza” by making a “space-age pizza box” which uses a circular design. It will be finished in white and have carefully-placed holes that allow heat and moisture to escape, preventing the pizza from getting soggy.

Jobs’ Mob has patented its design and said it was made to allow staff to take pizzas from the 4,000-seater staff canteen back to their desk. Of course the box will be more expensive than the pizza and you will have to mortage your house to own one.

The pizza box was designed in 2012, and the patent describes how the box can be easily stacked and features a “plurality of ridges”, “allowing moisture expelled from the food item to be transported away from the food item”.

While the box has been trailed at Apple’s “Caffe Mac” canteens, it will be a feature of the new “Apple Park” headquarters in Cupertino, where staff have started to move in.

Staff are meant to eat in the enormous main café together to encourage employees from different departments to collaborate. Of course, this is stupid given the fact that Apple is so paranoid about its security that it does not allow its staff to talk about their projects.

Apple does not appear to have any plans to distribute its invention more widely at least until the failure of the iPhone cash cow means that Apple stores are turned into designer fast food outfits.

Of course, these will not be proper pizzas, they will be those nasty American things which involve putting fruit or chicken on them, but we have been predicting that Tim Cook will be saying something like “do you want fries with that” for some time.