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Musk’s minions confuse their COBOL
There are no 150-year-olds in the US
Elon [Roman Salute] Musk’s team of elite coding nerds bragged that they found fake 150-year-old people collecting Social Security in the US with their cheques illegally cashed -- however it turns out they didnn't know their COBOL.
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Bluesky surges as users flee Elon Musk's X
A million new users since the US election
As the numbers of users at Elon [look at me] Musk’s social notworking site Twitter X have been falling faster than a free-falling elephant without a parachute, numbers at its rival Bluesky have been increasing.
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SpaceX wants to increase its bandwidth
Asked the FCC for permission
Elon [look at me] Musk has asked the FCC for permission to modify the second generation, Gen2, of Spacex’s Starlink satellite system.
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Irish guy beats Musk and wins $600,000
Teaches him a lesson on employment law
An Irish man took Elon [look at me] Musk to court over his employment antics and won.
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Musk finds a customer for Tesla Cybertruck
It is now officially now the tool of over-compensating terrorist warlords
While the Tesla Cybertruck has been a disaster in the west, Elon [look at me] Musk has found a customer in the East.
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Musk's X flees Brazil amid censorship row
Blaims censorship orders
Elon [look at me] Musk's media platform X has thrown in the towel in Brazil, citing "censorship orders" from Brazilian judge Alexandre de Moraes.
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Musk’s AI image generation backfires on him
You probably were not expecting this
Elon [look at me] Musk’s AI chatbot launched a new image generation feature which users immediately used to troll the billionaire.
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X’s “White Dudes for Harris” account suspended
Musk blamed for “running scared”
The “White Dudes for Harris” saw their fundraising account for Kamala Harris on Elon [look at me] Musk’s X suspended yesterday.
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Musk scrapes X data to feed his AI
We thought he was opposed to that sort of thing
After launching court cases against organisations training AI based on scraping Twitter day, Elon [look at me] Musk has decided “I’ll be ‘aving me some of that.”
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Musk’s brain chip borked
And he can’t turn it off and turn it on again
Elon [look at me] Musk’s attempt to put a computer chip into a person’s brain ran into trouble when the chip borked.