Depreciation high

The electric vehicle market is sputtering, with inventories piling up like a traffic jam on the M25, in a desperate bid to keep up, Tesla's been slashing prices like a mad axeman, but it's backfired spectacularly.

Rich and incredibly stupid

A daft driver was caught red-handed by the cops after he tried to drive a Tesla with a £2,500 Apple gadget strapped to his face.

No one is worth that

The billionaire boss of Tesla, Elon [look at me] Musk, has been told to sling his hook by a Delaware judge who ruled his £44 billion pay deal was too much. The judge said the electric car maker's board was daft to give Musk such a huge package and scrapped it.

Second recall

Tesla has recalled 120,423 of its pricy motors in the United States over concerns that the car’s door locks might open during collisions.

Just like he did Tesla 

The soon to be former supreme twit Elon [look at me] Musk claims he invented OpenAI and even came up with the name.

Future is bleak for big four

Sweden’s national pension cut back on U.S.-traded tech stocks that outperformed in the first quarter including Apple, Tesla, Intel, and Nvidia.

Threatening unionising workers by tweet is apparently illegal

A federal appeals court has ruled supreme twit Elon [look at me] Musk broke US labour laws by tweeting that Tesla workers would lose stock trading options if they joined a union.

Plan 3 from outer space

Supreme rich twit Elon [look at me] Musk hit a new low at his Tesla investor day yesterday when he stood up and offered them nothing other than his glorious presence.

In other news we are in the 21st century

While electric car maker Tesla claims to be a 21st century company it is using methods from the 19th century to try and shut down unions.

But Musk claims success because of car sales and he is popular on Twitter

Supreme Twit Elon [look at me] Musk downplayed Tesla’s poor results by putting a positive spin on the numbers and prayed for a recession.