Apple sees a last-minute sales surge
Tariff panic sends iPhone punters scrambling
The cocaine nose jobs of Wall Street barely had time to flinch before punters started storming Job’s Mob’s stores, fearing price spikes after Donald [hamburger-eating surrender monkey] Trump’s latest tariff tantrum.
Trump's Signal scandal festers
White House blames Apple
The White House points fingers at the Fruity Cargo Cult Apple's iPhone for the recent Signalgate debacle. Atlantic editor Jeffrey Goldberg was mistakenly added to a sensitive Signal group chat.
Trump’s tariffs torch big tech
Silicon Valley in melt down
Big Tech just got a bloody nose thanks to Donald [hamburger-eating surrender monkey] Trump’s latest trade war tantrum.
iPhone starts installing random Chinese apps
iOS 18.4 "feature" shoves Chinese games onto iPhones without asking
Some iPhone users updating to iOS 18.4 are getting more than they bargained for—namely, surprise apps appearing on their Home Screens, including dubious-looking games like Cooking Mama and Squid Game knockoffs.
Trump slaps Job’s Mob with brutal tariffs
Looks the bromance is off
Donald [hamburger-eating surrender monkey] Trump has slammed a monster 46 per cent tariff on regions key to the Fruity Cargo Cult Apple’s global production chain, driving up the price of iPhones, Macs, and just about everything else shiny and expensive.
Siri spirals into chaos
Voice assistant flounders while rivals sprint into the future
The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple’s 13-year-old digital dunce Siri is proving more useless than ever, infuriating users while other tech firms surge ahead with bleeding-edge AI chatbots.
France slaps Job’s Mob with €150m fine for privacy power play
Watchdog says App Tracking Transparency wasn’t as innocent as it looked
The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple’s much-hyped App Tracking Transparency feature has earned it a €150 million slap on the wrist from France’s antitrust bloodhounds, who say it used privacy as a smokescreen to stiff the competition.
Apple misses court date
Might miss $20 billion too
The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple has taken a legal punch to the wallet after a US appeals court told it to sit down and shut up during the juicy remedy phase of Google's ongoing antitrust saga.
Apple schedules WWDC 2025 for June 9
iOS, iPadOS, and macOS updates coming
Apple has announced that its Worldwide Developers Conference 2025 will take place from June 9th to June 13th and will once again include the big keynote, held at Apple Park, as well as online sessions for developers.
Job’s Mob keeps switching Apple Intelligence back on
It seems the intelligent thing to do
The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple has once again decided it knows better than its users. With its latest iOS 18.3.2 update, it’s quietly forcing Apple Intelligence back on—even if Apple fanboys told it to sod off.